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Writer's pictureKirsten Bierlein-Hollenback

How to Embrace Imperfection and Plan Your Wedding with Confidence: A Guide to a Stress-Free Wedding Plan

Planning your wedding can often feel overwhelming, filled with decisions that will shape what everyone from your mother-in-law to your least favorite coworker keeps referring to as "one of the most important days of your life." With so much pressure to create a perfect event, it’s easy to find yourself stressed, anxious...perhaps even stepping into what's been colloquialized as “bridezilla” territory. (Although you'll never catch me using that phrase.) But what if instead of striving for perfection, you learned how to embrace the beauty of imperfection? It's my hope that this guide will help you navigate your wedding planning journey with a newfound confidence, calmness, and maybe even a little bit of joy!


Understanding the Pressure of Perfection


In today's world, you're quite literally bombarded with images and videos of seemingly flawless weddings and Pinterest-perfect setups, which sets unrealistic standards for what you think your big day should look like. You might find yourself feeling the need to curate every tiny detail to fit absurd TikTok ideals, fearing that any slight imperfection could ruin the very integrity of your Wedding Day.


black and white bridal portrait


But girl, let’s chill and take a quick moment to reflect: weddings are about celebrating love and individuality, not adhering to a stringent checklist of "Must Haves" and "Viral -Worthy Moments.". When you embrace the idea of imperfection, you free yourself from the shackles of comparison and open the door to creativity and genuine, real, heartfelt experiences.


As a wedding planner, I can honestly say that the unhappiest brides I've ever worked with were crippled by their preoccupation with what others would think of their day.


So...how can we change that?!


Shifting Your Mindset


To start embracing imperfection in your wedding planning, the first step is shifting your mindset. Here are some practical tips to help you do just that:


1. Set Realistic Expectations


Perfection is an illusion. If you've followed The OPAL Affair for any length of time, you know that's something I preach. Instead of aiming for a flawless event, focus on creating a day that genuinely reflects you and your partner and oozes your personality. Understand that things might not go exactly as planned, some pivoting and quick thinking will probably be required at some point, and that’s perfectly okay. It's all, as my dad says, "figureoutable."


2. Celebrate the Unpredictable


Consider the unique moments that come from unexpected situations—these often become the most cherished, fun, and hilarious memories. Whether it’s a sudden thunderstorm that leads to an impromptu indoor dance party or a minor mishap that turns into the story you enjoy retelling at every family get-together, these imperfections add character and pizazz to your Wedding Day.


(Basically? Perfection is....dare I say it...kinda boring!)


Creating a Stress-Free Wedding Plan


Navigating wedding planning can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are some strategies to facilitate a more pleasant experience for everyone:


3. Prioritize What Matters


Make a list of what elements of your wedding day matter most to you. I typically suggest my couples choose their top 2 or 3 most important elements. Whether it’s banging music that keeps the dance floor packed, artisanal food that guests will be craving a year from now or simply being surrounded by the ones you love most, concentrating on these aspects helps you keep your focus on the right things and ensures that you don’t sweat the small stuff.


4. Enlist Help


You don’t have to plan your wedding alone. Bring your partner, family, or close friends into the process. Better yet, hire a planning or coordination team! And ensure that all of the vendors you hire are qualified, experienced, and professional. Collaboration between great vendors and helpful family and friends makes the stressful and mundane tasks of wedding planning more enjoyable. Who knows, their varied perspectives might even inspire some new ideas!


Finding Joy in Your Unique Choices


Your wedding is an extension of your relationship with your partner and the merging of your personalities. Embracing imperfection means accepting and celebrating the uniqueness of your choices and the things that make you, you!


5. Embrace DIY Projects


If you enjoy creating, consider incorporating DIY elements into your wedding. (Yep, I said it. I said the unpopular thing wedding planners are NEVER supposed to say!) Whether it’s handmade favors (have I told you about the OPAL bride who hand poured custom candles?) or dainty flower crowns for your flower girls, these special touches can resonate more than anything store-bought, even if they aren’t perfect by traditional standards. Plus, it just feels good to make things with your hands. It's something we all should do more often!


6. Personal Stories Make for Memorable Experiences


Share personal stories in your ceremony and reception, whether through a unique and meaningful reading, personalized vows, or an emotional father-of-the-bride speech. This not only strengthens your emotional connection to the day, but also allows guests to share in your journey, once again showcasing the importance of authenticity over perfection!


bride and groom laughing with bridesmaids

Planning a Stress-Free Day


Once you’ve embraced the idea of imperfection, it's time to plan a day that reflects that mindset.


7. Create a Flexible Timeline


While having a schedule is vitally important, leave room for flexibility. This allows you to adapt to unexpected occurrences without feeling overwhelmed. One best practice tip is the 30 for 5 Rule: allow 30 minutes for every task that would usually take only 5 minutes on an average (non-wedding) day!


And of course, consult your planner or coordinator for their timeline recommendations. Many of us ADORE creating a great timeline.


8. Practice Self-Care


Lastly, prioritize self-care leading up to your Wedding Day. Engage in activities that will nourish you emotionally and physically and have nothing to do with wedding planning. Whether it’s yoga, meditation, or a relaxing spa day, a calm mind and body will help you navigate any challenges that arise with a sense of ease.


That's all, folks.


As you embark on your wedding planning journey, remember that perfection is not the goal; genuine joy and the love between you and your partner, along with your family and friends, are what truly matter. Embracing the beautifully imperfect moments makes your Wedding Day distinct, authentic, and memorable!


So take a deep breath, let go of the unrealistic ideals, and enjoy the experience. After all, your Wedding Day may not be THE Most Important Day of Your Life, but it will be a testament to your unique story—flaws and all. Celebrate every little moment, and before you know it, you’ll look back on this planning journey with fond memories rather than horror.


With confidence in your decisions, acceptance of the unexpected, and a great team to help you through, you’ll create a day that’s truly special. So "cheers!" to your beautiful wedding and your new Stress-Free Wedding Plan—perfectly imperfect in each and every delightful way.


x | the opal affair


bride and groom sneak away portraits

Article Images by McKenna Long Photography

Venue: Frankenmuth Brewery


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